So Capitol Hill is sort of treading water right now. And by “sort of treading water”, I mean “drowning like a camel in the Atlantic Ocean”. And yes, Democrats are in power. Yes, they have a pretty sizable majority in the House. Yes, they have a nearly filibuster-proof majority in the Senate. Yes, they have the presidency. This is the state of things in March 2010.
Also, Republicans are unified in lock-step opposition to EVERYTHING Obama does. Supreme Court Justice appointments, Secretary of Transportation appointments, DCCC appointments, dentist appointments. This is the state of things in March 2010.
Republicans make significant gains in the House and Senate. Obama now has to fight tooth and nail for even the most bipartisan of efforts. Republicans hold a tenuous majority in both the House and Senate, and he can no longer rely on the votes of conservative Democrats on any legislation. Republicans continue to filibuster again. And again. And again. Our country’s economy begins to spiral, more jobs are lost, more people die every day because of a lack of adequate health insurance. This is the state of things in November 2010.
A certain conservative candidate announces his candidacy for the office of President of the United States. MSNBC focuses exclusively on hypercritical analysis of his track record and history, Fox News focuses on extolling his virtues and merits and potential. CNN continues to cover the ongoing natural disasters in the world, while trying to appear centrist in their occasional remarks about said candidate. All MSM networks completely discard their coverage and analysis of the happenings and intricacies of what exactly is going on in Washington; the Tea Party assimilates into the Republican party in anticipation of election season. Nothing is done about the country’s dwindling state. The deficit remains unchecked. Infrastructural problems remain manifest. This is the state of things in February 2011.
The conservative candidate chooses Michael Steele as his Vice President in an effort to nullify the use of the race card in any matters pertaining to the GOP and their newly assimilated Tea Party base; even though many racist sentiments still run deep. Obama is forced to concentrate on the upcoming election cycle, and therefore happenings on Capitol Hill grind to a halt. America’s economy continues to implode, the unemployment rate is at 15% and climbing. This is the state of things in August 2012.
Barack Obama suffers a decisive loss at the hands of an outraged Republican base and a disillusioned Independent bloc wholly dissatisfied with Obama’s lack of success. Republicans center their entire campaign upon Obama’s failure to keep his campaign promises, despite their role as the impassable blockade which prevented him from passing any meaningful legislation. Preying upon the visceral reactions and short-term memories of the average American, Republicans cruise to victory and capture significant majorities in both the house and Senate. Stories circulate about the resurrection of the GOP and the imminent demise of the Democratic Party. This is the state of things in November 2012.
In the interim between Election Day and the presidential inauguration, President Obama apologizes to the American people for his failure to set our great country upon a more glorious path towards prosperity. He abstains from blaming the Republicans in Congress, and instead expands upon what he could have done better as a President. The economy is in dire straits, and a market crash appears to be on the horizon. Republicans implore Obama to sign legislation into action, but he refuses to do such; asking that they politely wait their turn to begin work on fixing our broken America. This is the state of things in January 2013.
(GOP winner) is inaugurated into office. Facing an enormous debt and an economic tailspin, (GOP winner) kicks his GOP Congressmen into gear so that a landmark piece of legislation may be enacted to save the economy. This legislation angers many on both sides – liberals decry it as being outlandishly hypocritical, and conservative pundits dismiss it as an overambitious government escapade. Meanwhile, Bank of America merges with AIG to form America, LLC; an act made possible by a 2011 Republican proposal by Joe Wilson to extend upon the financial deregulatory practices made possible by the repeal of the Glass-Steagall Act in 1999. This is the state of things in February 2013.
The newly crowned 45th President of the United States then sets about passing this bill of unprecedented size through Congress. It clears easily through the House, despite vehement opposition from the left.
However, upon entering the Senate, the bill becomes deadlocked. Senators Harry Reid, Barbara Boxer, Dick Durbin and Al Franken commit to filibustering this bill indefinitely, calling it “undemocratic” and “bullying”. The Republicans have a filibuster-proof majority of 60 Senators, however, so the public expects that this will be nothing more than a minor hiccup. Meanwhile, America LLC is aggressively buying up mortgages and the like; in a manner not at all dissimilar to their 2005 irresponsible financial undertakings.
Unfortunately for the Republicans, Senator Olympia Snowe votes on the side of the Democrats, stating that “it isn’t fair to ram such a huge bill down the American people’s throats on such short notice”.
Fox News lambasts Democrats for being “obstructionist” and labels them as the “Party of No”, accusing the Democrats of putting politics before country. A movement known as the Latte Party emerges from the extreme left, clamoring about the tyranny of the GOP and “taking their country back”. This is the state of things in August 2013.
In March 2014, the financial system collapses on the heels of America, LLC filing for another government bailout; as they have once again become victims of their own treacherous greed.Our country enters a Second Great Depression. Unemployment rates are at 33%. China, Taiwan, Japan and Korea have stopped loaning us money, consequently decimating our economic structure. Democrats blame Republicans for their idiocy during the Obama administration. Republicans blame Democrats for not supporting the President (in a completely hypocritical about-face from their previous position held under the Obama administration).
Meanwhile, our country has gone to hell.
Yes, my friends, karma is a cruel mistress.
